MOVIN ON

I'm taking each day as it comes, not putting to much into things I can't control. Dealing with ONLY the things I have power to change. There are dreams that have been left unmet, so I'm working towards a few things in hopes that I can make one dream come true....FASHION DESIGN....
The days of laying around on the weekends and letting time pass me by.....
that's a NO! NO!.....I will be jumping in the game of LIFE, and taking the BULL BY THE HORNS and living life to the fullest............
28yrs of my adult life has gone, never to regain......so with the time I have ahead, I hope to see and do things differently.....No, I don't have a bucket list, but there are things to explore.

SO HAT'S OFF TO 2012 and the time ahead......LOOK OUT WORLD!!! SASSI IS COMING THUR!!! HOLLA!!!!

Why do I have to be strong and not angry

This all started 7/20/11 when I recieved a phone call......."YOU HAVE BREAST CANCER". Now needless to say I wasn't really expecting that, and I sat on the back step looking across the playground and up towards the sky, thinking "ok what now". And for the last 5 months it's been an unusal journey so to speak. Now I'm a nurse by profession, and I'm use to the patient side of this type of diagnosis and how I can assist them. But for me to hear this was very different.  And within this time frame I've gone thur numerous test, met several physicians who would now be known as my "medical team".
But what's crawling my nerves is I'M UPSET! I'M HURT! and I really want to SCREAM!!!!
I have family support and support of friends, but deep down I seems not ones there. I had one day that I brought down weeks ago, and last night this anger came over me.......
I HEAR " you will get thur this, it's will all be ok, been there, done that,God won't put more on you than you can bear."

But why???? Why is this happening to me........why does it hurt.........why do I cry myself to sleep........only to get up in the morning as if nothing is going on inside......
It's hard, soooooooooooo very hard.
Faith!, yes I have faith........but I have emotions and feelings and that's the driving force of the madness I have inside.......I want to know it's ok, to be mad, ok to curse, ok to feel so helpless on occassions, to wanna say, "Im sick of this" and not feel quilty.